Kony 2012: Transparent as Lady Gaga’s Garb

The hype around the charity organization, Invisible Children (IC), and their new hit film, Kony 2012, represents the new viral teen sensation.  Look out Lady Gaga, there’s a new “bad romance” for the spoiled kids to drool over. Actually, there isn’t much difference between the two videos: both are hip, new-aged and showcase attractive white people with motives that are as transparent as Lady Gaga’s scant garb.

I started a post back in February by explaining what a selfless man Ralph Nader is, so I was not surprised to see that he had joined IC in their crusade to save the children of Uganda. These kids are being kidnapped and turned into soldiers by the fanatical dictator,  Joseph Kony. Knowing how equally selfless the founders of IC are, it was easy to see why Craig Kielburger and the Dalai Lama had also joined the group. The new members posed in a picture holding weapons of minor-to-major destruction, much like the founders of Invisible children had. Seeing that the Lama has been known to make strange decisions, like the time he hired Carl Spackman as a caddy, it didn’t surprise me to see him in the picture. And Kielburger, having started his own foundations for saving children and taking no profits, it all made sense to kid around about weapons in Africa.

Invisible Children with Guns

Kielburger, Nader and the Lama chillin' and posing for a funny pic. Hilarious!

So what’s the big deal? The leaders of IC are along side the selfless activists and are collecting millions of dollars from zit-popping white kids with a lot of disposible income.  Moreover, they only take around 90 grand a year for all of their wise contributions to Africa. Of course, this doesn’t include all of the expenses that they charge to the account, but hey, they’re saving black kids that are getting kidnapped in the night.

Invisible Children SalariesWhy should this upset anyone? When was the last time you jumped on plane, flew over to Africa, yes, dangerous Africa, and saved some children? How many children have you rescued from a man running around with guns and other children with guns and other bad men with guns? None? That’s what I thought. Is this worth a total of $262 287 per year plus expenses (predicted at at least an equal amount)? Well, the obvious answer would be a question: what price are you willing to put on the lives of scared and often orphaned children? What’s 90 grand anyway? Professors make 90 grand . . . well, at least some of them do.

Professor salariesBig deal if they make more than some of those who have spent up to 12 years in post-secondary education to achieve a PhD. The professors are stupid for spending all that time and money on degrees.  Who needs cures for diseases, fieldwork studies and publications about culture, poverty and war?

Jason Russell, one of the founders of IC, makes more than the highest paid Assitant Professor, and he’s just shy of the average for a full professor.  Click on the chart above if you want to read about the long process to achieve the latter position.  Can most of Russell’s salary be spent to save more children? Hey, did I mention they made a video? You can watch it HERE.

Jason Russell Salary Invisible Children

Jason Russell can't be all that bad: he has his own child, and he loves African children too!

So what if they have simplified things a little for the young, North American population.  It’s pretty tough to understand a mad man turning scared children into cold-blooded killing machines, but it’s easy to understand that if you kill the mad man, Africa will become a peaceful haven, just like North America.  Who wouldn’t cough up 25 bucks for that? When we capture/kill Joseph Kony, all the children will be free, and, for your 25 clams, you get a starter pack in the mail!

These kids are getting to the root of problem, so why should they be criticized? They are meeting with politicians, like John Kerry, and getting the US government off its bloated, broke ass. It’s kids fighting for the kids. Just like Craig Kiel . . . Did I mention that they made a video? You can see it HERE.

Laren Poole Rocket Launcher

Laren "The Launcher" Poole ($85000/yr.) meets with John Kerry for Invisible Children. Take note of his trusty rocket launcher leaned up against the door. He's just kidding around.

Who cares about oil in the area and future American bases right next to it. Shouldn’t we protect the oil for the children?  Shouldn’t they have a future where they can make ninety grand a year?  Hell yes!  If corporate dishonesty and government control sets in, I’m sure IC will be there to fight that too. Maybe they’ll deal with the CEO of Monsanto some day so that all corporate corruption will come to a hault in North America too. I’d pay 50 bucks for that.

If you think these are just a bunch of young guys who found a way to capitalize on charity, you’re simply incorrect. They may get things like airfair, other travel, accomodation and food for free, and they may take home more money than your average university professor, but they save children. Professors just . . . profess, and they . . . Did I mention that they made a video? You can watch it HERE.

Invisible Children Scam This is the what the world should be like. It should be filled with young whites carying the white man’s burden yet again. Who cares if they don’t know what the term means; they know what children are, and they know how to save them.This one's a real lemon

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2 Responses to Kony 2012: Transparent as Lady Gaga’s Garb

  1. Not Quite Perfect says:

    So, instead you spend your time and energy trying to derail the effort? For what purpose? What’s the motivation? Do something bigger… do something better. Instead of mocking something that inspired millions of young people over a measly $90K (seriously, in the grand scheme of things) – use your voice and your audience and build something better of your own. Do it better. I’m so sick and tired of people who live in the negative, who take a sense of pride not in their own creation but in the mocking of others. It’s transparent and weak. I am not a performer yet I appreciate the fearlessness of those who have a voice – who speak, lead, sing, dance, act, produce, etc…. It’s these men and women who history will remember. Those who mock, criticize and ridicule aren’t ever remembered because, well, they’re never really known. Or matter

    • AlexanderTrout says:

      This is a satirical response to the “effort.” If you read it, you would see that I offered examples of charitable humans that do not take top-tier salaries from their own charities, which I believe is wrong. If you do not, you are entitled to your own opinion.

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