Air Canada flaunts new “Don’t Like it? Eat Shit!” campaign

Air Canada service sucks

After inquiring about poor service, a man and his wife listen as an Air Canada employee tells them to eat shit

Air Canada unveiled a new advertising campaign slogan, Don’t like it? Eat Shit!, earlier this afternoon. Many embrace the honesty behind the slogan, but government officials fear that some Canadians may take the slogan literally and start ingesting their own fecal matter.

Air Canada’s current CEO, Calin Rovinescu, and other company executives are still pulling in millions, even after company shares have slumped by a whopping 70% in the last year.  When asked by the press why he believes he deserves millions, Rovinescu said, “I don’t give a shit what you or anyone else thinks.”

There you have it. It would seem that Rovinescu should care as the Canadian public has taken on the roll of Fairy Bail-your-ass-out-mother several times when the airline’s deplorable service sent it to the chopping block.

Air Canada Sucks

After being told to eat shit, a customer becomes aggressive.  Employees gather to aid their comrade

“It’s quite a simple equation,” Rovinescu said. “If they don’t like it, they still have to pay for it. And all employees now have the right to tell any one of our ungrateful customers to eat shit if they don’t like the service they’re getting. The campaign also helps employees vent frustrations caused by the recent back-to-work legislation.”

When asked if he thought the new slogan might offend guests to the point of abandoning the airline permanently, Rovinescu laughed and said, “Canadians are stupid. They shop online with the assumption that when they get to the airport, there will be someone there who gives a shit that they paid $1500 for a ticket to who-knows-where. As far as I’m concerned, once the clams are in the coffers, we don’t have to give a shit any longer. This isn’t a new strategy. We play ball the same way Stephen Harper does.”

Rovinescu is confident that the new slogan will represent the company in an honest, transparent way. Because of the new slogan, the company plans to cut back their complaint department by 64% over the next year as most disgruntled customers will be dealt with on the front lines. The email runarounds and false promises offered on the phone will now be handled at the front counter with a concise, Don’t like it? Eat shit!This one's a real lemon

 Air Canada Suck t-shirt

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9 Responses to Air Canada flaunts new “Don’t Like it? Eat Shit!” campaign

  1. John says:

    Privatisation in 1989..? Why is this still such a sh!tty attitude airline. Remarkable.

  2. Neil Frelick says:

    You would make a fortune selling these shirts! (I’ll take 1200)

    • AlexanderTrout says:

      If I wouldn’t get sued, I’d sell’em for sure. Maybe I’ll print a few and sell them underground.

  3. Jamie Smith says:

    It is not the employees who don’t care, (although there are always a few bad apples), it is the CEO who told the employees if they don’t like the working conditions that they could leave. The message the CEO sends is that upper management can do what they want,…and if you don’t like it ,leave! It starts from the top!

    • AlexanderTrout says:

      Jamie, I agree with you. I’m sure there are many, many great employees at Air Canada. I have just had a handful of bad experiences. When I try to deal with them, they basically tell me to get lost. It’s what influenced me to write this post. It is mostly satire, but there is a little truth behind it. I agree that the management should be fired, but with bailouts available, they feel no need to resign.

  4. Leah says:

    Wow that was so funny I forgot to laugh! This writer deserves the “clap”. A very slow one !

  5. Mike says:

    Air canada sucks. Plain and simple. No more bail outs for this shitty airline. There are much better airlines to fly with in Canada, Alexander trout I’d buy your t shirt. Go ahead make them. You’d pro only make enough to cover any law suit.

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